Writer? I Hardly Know Her!

I never liked the quiet. I mean, obviously I like the quiet to an extent. It means peace, less stress. There's more room for you to exist in your own quiet bubble, doing your own thing. But sometimes . . .  Sometimes the quiet, the dead silence, is so loud. I can physically hear it. It sounds fizzy, almost like the buzz of electricity when I sit too close to the power strip or turn on the old lamp in my room. Sometimes the quiet is so loud it hurts my ears a little. My mind tends to talk a lot, although it's been a little quieter in the last year. It sometimes takes the silence as an invitation to talk on and on and on. It often drives me crazy, but there are also times I just go about my day, doing my own thing while they chatter in the background. On occasion I'll catch a sentence and ponder on what it means, meanwhile the voices have gone silent. I'm not a fan of noise more than a few hours a day, but I also don't feel calm in lonely silence.

Hello Again, I started learning to knit a few days ago. I'm working on a blanket for my first project. It's not gonna be as wide as I want so I'm gonna knit two of them, each a different color scheme, and then sew the two together. It's going to take a long time, but it's something to do with my hands and as someone who likes to always have their hands busy, that's a godsend. Knitting does hurt my hands quite a bit though. That part is annoying. I believe what I've been doing are called garter stitches. There's still plenty about knitting that I don't know, but it'll be fun to learn. I think it's good to start with a blanket because I can just practice doing continental knitting and garter stitches until I've got it down. There's already a fair amount of progress. My first rows have lots of mistakes and the more recent rows look a lot cleaner, with less holes and missed stitches. I figure I'll leave my mistakes. They add character...

Hello Again, Advertisements really piss me off. Don't get me wrong, there are a few good commercials and ads that actually have a good product/service and explain what it is and how it works in an interesting way. Bonus points if it's funny. The issue is that most ads aren't at all like that. Sometimes you don't know what the product is, or what it does, or why it exists. It would be really nice if they listed the prices on every ad too, so it's easy to know what might be worth your time and what you should avoid. Some things are worth their price and some are expensive for the sake of being expensive. I always appreciate ads where they tell you the price. Every business should be doing that. Mobile ads in particular are the worst. I hate when they don't let you escape them. There's no "x" to click on to close the ad. Sometimes it takes time to appear and sometimes it never does. I have to exit out of my mobile games sometimes cause I've been s...

Hello Again, I've been wanting to put my art out there for years and I finally took the first step today. I made a website and uploaded my art! It's violetsvisions.art if you wanna check it out. Obviously it's just a first step, but it's progress. I hope to have a tiktok page soon and maybe put some of my work up for sale. It's scary, but it's exciting! If you've been wanting to post your art, do it! People on the internet can be mean sometimes, but sometimes they're kind, and if you believe in yourself and your work you'll make it through. Sorry, I don't have too much else to say, I just wanted to gush about that. Have a good night. -V 🩵

Writing is fascinating to me. It's essentially one person talking to another through a combination of technology and their own thought. It's one person telling a story and capturing that story, then telling it, through that paper or screen, to another. It's truly a magical thing and it hurts my brain when I think about it too much. I feel that I am a writer in my soul, and yet writing is a concept I may never fully understand. Still I try, much like with my other big questions. I understand so little of this world, and too much of it all at once. I'm rambling on again. I apologize. I often feel as though there is something wrong with me. Or like I don't belong here. I sometimes don't feel real. It's as though I'm both painfully numb and overwhelmingly terrified. I spend too much time in my head in order to escape the world I live in. Sometimes I find myself turning to poetry. I try to turn them into songs when I can. Both my mom and my dad used to write ...

Hello Again, I have a little, blue-green, retro fan in my room that I run basically whenever I'm in the room. And appearantly that's too often, because it's beginning to sound, on occasion, like it's struggling. Something I've often struggled with is the relationship between emotions and objects. I would often see them as almost one in the same,  not sure why. I often collect little souvenirs from trips and events and hang outs I've had with friends: like my ferry ticket, acorns from under the tree we ate next to, even a pencil or a string a friend gave me. Some items are more sentimental, deeply sentimental. Like items that belonged to my mother, who died when I was thirteen,  or little statues or stuffed animals that belonged to my great grandma. This was a big issue for me,  and I didn't realize it until the last few years. I'd not only keep those sentimental things, I'd keep clothes that had holes in them so big that they couldn't be worn. I ...