Writer? I Hardly Know Her!

Hello Again, Ayo. I feel like I come on here and I go to write a new post and I can't think of a single word other than "Ayo" and then I somehow get the words going and, like when I try to pour something, it just turns into a mess because I just rip the thoughts out of my head and put 'em here for you to either ignore or consider and then I post it and try to forget that I spilled my heart and soul out onto my little blog that I doubt anyone will ever read, at least for a long while. You know, I've discovered that I for some reason do not want to be done with publishing my book, and I'm not sure why. I'm trying to think on it a little but I forget to think about it just as well. I don't even know what I'm saying anymore I'm hella tired, man. I'm trying to make a new song in a different way then usual. I like to write music out way different than most people do. For my own personal music making process, I just write the letter of the note on...

Hello Again, You know, I was just looking at my walls and thinking about my art, since I was just writing down ideas for my painting, and I had a realization. I have my paintings all over my walls, like an art gallery. I've been dreaming about having my art in a gallery for a while now, but too scared to do anything about it. But at least I have my own little art gallery here in my room, a display of most of my works, all together in one place. That's something. I need to start signing my art again too, I always forget to and then I end up with a bunch that need signed and I sign like ten in one go lol. Oops, I'm ranting again. I've been listening to rain and fireplace background noise and different kinds of ambience music and it's actually very peaceful. I used to think it was boring but now I think it's nice to have to listen to while playing on my phone or painting and it helps me sleep. I'm in hibernation mode I think. I just wanna be comfy and relax and...

I wanted to mention that I'm finally editing my book. I just dread it until I finally sit down to do it and get in the zone and then it's fun. It's so silly. I can't wait until it's done though. It's gonna take longer to edit then I thought, and then I have to copyright it, and then I gotta publish it, and then I finally get to write some more. I love doing things my own way the whole way through: knitting with no pattern, publishing my own book, learning code for free online. I'm just getting started with my passions and my dreams. I hope my future is as bright as I dream it is. I hope things get better. I hope I can follow through with everything and become a better version of myself. A happier one.

I never liked the quiet. I mean, obviously I like the quiet to an extent. It means peace, less stress. There's more room for you to exist in your own quiet bubble, doing your own thing. But sometimes . . .  Sometimes the quiet, the dead silence, is so loud. I can physically hear it. It sounds fizzy, almost like the buzz of electricity when I sit too close to the power strip or turn on the old lamp in my room. Sometimes the quiet is so loud it hurts my ears a little. My mind tends to talk a lot, although it's been a little quieter in the last year. It sometimes takes the silence as an invitation to talk on and on and on. It often drives me crazy, but there are also times I just go about my day, doing my own thing while they chatter in the background. On occasion I'll catch a sentence and ponder on what it means, meanwhile the voices have gone silent. I'm not a fan of noise more than a few hours a day, but I also don't feel calm in lonely silence.

Hello Again, I started learning to knit a few days ago. I'm working on a blanket for my first project. It's not gonna be as wide as I want so I'm gonna knit two of them, each a different color scheme, and then sew the two together. It's going to take a long time, but it's something to do with my hands and as someone who likes to always have their hands busy, that's a godsend. Knitting does hurt my hands quite a bit though. That part is annoying. I believe what I've been doing are called garter stitches. There's still plenty about knitting that I don't know, but it'll be fun to learn. I think it's good to start with a blanket because I can just practice doing continental knitting and garter stitches until I've got it down. There's already a fair amount of progress. My first rows have lots of mistakes and the more recent rows look a lot cleaner, with less holes and missed stitches. I figure I'll leave my mistakes. They add character...

Hello Again, Advertisements really piss me off. Don't get me wrong, there are a few good commercials and ads that actually have a good product/service and explain what it is and how it works in an interesting way. Bonus points if it's funny. The issue is that most ads aren't at all like that. Sometimes you don't know what the product is, or what it does, or why it exists. It would be really nice if they listed the prices on every ad too, so it's easy to know what might be worth your time and what you should avoid. Some things are worth their price and some are expensive for the sake of being expensive. I always appreciate ads where they tell you the price. Every business should be doing that. Mobile ads in particular are the worst. I hate when they don't let you escape them. There's no "x" to click on to close the ad. Sometimes it takes time to appear and sometimes it never does. I have to exit out of my mobile games sometimes cause I've been s...