#7

Hello Again,

It seems like most of the time, at this point, I write blog posts to make me feel better when I'm down. I'm not sure why or what that means, just an observation. You may have noticed that #6 is either not present or in a weird spot. That's cause I wrote it when I was feeling poetic and incredibly tired a few days or a week ago or something, and I have yet to find the time to proof read it around eight times. The reading and re-reading and re-reading is very important. I wouldn't want to put something bad or too soul-bearing out into the world, or at least I currently lack that courage. Without that courage, how can I grow? Ah, but all will be well in the end. Or maybe just for a year or a month or a week, and whatever the length of time, it will be what I've always longed for, a stretch of time in which I feel peace and happiness and freedom and that I am loved.

Sorry that I'm practically talking in riddles today, I'm not sure what's come over me.

It's hard to explain what these big awful emotions are like to people who have never experienced them. That's why I don't try unless they want me to and I am close with them. What point is there otherwise?

Sometimes when it's real bad, I don't hide it anymore; I can't and I don't want to. In those moments I feel as though nearly nothing matters. Of course, when I'm feeling a little better, that notion sounds ridiculous. My loved ones matter. The warmth of the sun on a nice day matters. Swimming and going to get ice-cream afterwards matters. There are good parts of life that seem to fade into the background when you're surrounded by shadows and fog.

I just want to have some peace and happiness.

-V🩷